Holding On
by i-can-see-the-stars
Summary: Seth left. Plain and simple. Though, nothing ever said he could go back. Ambrolleigns, slight Sub!Roman, and implied sex.


directly continued from letting go. this installment gives a little more insight into the relationship dynamic of the boys, and how dean and seth are coping without roman.

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><p>Seth's head snapped up as he heard the door to Roman's room opening, trying in vain to wipe the tears away as Dean stepped out. Really, Dean would've known he was crying anyways, but it couldn't hurt to give himself a little dignity.<p>

"Hey, Seth, you alright?" Dean asks, crouching down next to Seth.

"Uh...yeah, yeah, I'm all good," Seth sniffs, wiping away a stray tear. "Just feel really bad for Rome."

"He'll bounce back," Dean says, somewhat reluctantly patting Seth's shoulder. "He's tough. He did have two doms at one time, you know."

Seth sniffled again and nodded. "True," He looked over at the older man, earning a small smile before Dean glanced back at the door. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

Dean raised an eyebrow, but Seth knew he'd heard the question. "Roman."

It was simple, but it spoke volumes. Roman hated it when they fought. He always found a way to believe their arguments were his fault (which they weren't, they were about his well-being). It got Seth and Dean to calm down real quick, though, seeing their sub more frightened than he ever was when he got punished.

* * *

><p><em>"You need to pay attention!"<em>

_"I am!"_

_"Really? 'Cause he's a little too far gone for you to have been paying attention."_

_"It's not my fault he doesn't know how to use a fucking safe word, Seth."_

_"You're the one who doesn't encourage the _use_ of a safe word!"_

_Dean had gone too fucking far. Seth really, truly though he could let Dean have a night alone with Roman. Now, he always did great when Seth was around, but Seth still thought it was necessary to have Roman use safe words with Dean. Dean was still new to the whole being-a-dom thing, so Seth took every precaution he could to make sure Roman would be safe and comfortable at all times. _

_Quite obviously, though, Dean had thrown all instruction out the window. He'd pretty much kicked Seth out of the room, and Seth had to call Antonio and drag him to the hotel bar. He didn't drink anything, though, and Antonio was too occupied with keeping Seth sane to tend to his own drink. Cesaro was fully aware of their little arrangement, and he always knew what problems involved what, such as that moment. _

_Seth left early, like, 15 minutes after Dean tossed him out. He wasn't sure why he was shaking as he opened the door. But as he opened the door, he knew exactly why. Dean was fucking Roman roughly, way more rough than Roman was usually used to, and the grip he had on Roman's neck was on the wrong side of snug. Seth went off on Dean as soon as he saw it, immediately checking on Roman once Dean was off the bed. _

_"Part of being a good dom is knowing wether or not your sub is comfortable with what's happening," Seth's voice raised slightly. "Did he look fucking comfortable?"_

_"Maybe he didn't!" Dean threw his arms in the air. "You know, maybe I'm not a good dom. Maybe I'm not cut out for this."_

_"After what I just saw, I don't think you're cut out to take care of a goldfish, let alone another person."_

_A small, quiet sound came from the bed, and Seth damn near smacked himself. Roman was curled up, blanket wrapped tight around him, his back facing Seth and Dean. They'd just about forgotten Roman was right there, and Seth didn't even need to look to know that his sub was about to cry._

_"God, you're fucking stupid, you know that?" Seth walked over to Roman, climbing into the bed and wrapping an arm around Roman's waist._

_Roman didn't curl up with Seth, which worried both Seth and Dean, because Roman was always latched onto them when they shared a bed (or anything, for that matter). Dean made his way to the bed as well, but he stood in front of Roman. The dark-haired man refused to look up, but Dean could see the tears welling in his grey eyes._

_"Baby boy, look at me," Dean crouched down at the side of the bed and pushed some of Roman's hair off his face, watery eyes meeting his own. "What's wrong?"_

_"And don't you dare say nothing," Seth added, propping himself up on one elbow._

_"I'm making you two fight," Roman said weakly, his eyes drifting away from Dean's. "You're arguing because of me."_

_"Not because of you," Seth corrects, kissing Roman's shoulder. "Over you. And Dean being stupid."_

_"I'm not being stupid."_

_"You were," Seth says. "You were, but you're kinda okay now, but I'm still pissed at you."_

_"Whatever."_

_"Hey," Roman chimed in. "It's alright. I should've used my word, and I didn't. I'm sorry."_

_"Don't be," Dean said quickly. "You didn't do a damn thing. I wasn't paying attention, I was wrapped up in, well, y'know, _you_, and I didn't register that you were slipping."_

_Seth couldn't help but notice how gentle Dean was as he touched Roman, how soft his voice was when he spoke. He wasn't like that practically ever, but he completely changed his demeanor when he was around Roman. Maybe he wasn't fully ready to get Roman alone, but he treated Roman well._

_"See? It's all his fault, not yours."_

_Dean sent him a dirty look, but with one look at Roman, Dean was smiling and leaning over to kiss both Roman and Seth. He didn't say he was sorry, he wasn't a fan of the phrase, but his actions spoke loud enough. They would do whatever was best for Roman. _

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><p>Even if they weren't together, them fighting wasn't what was best for Roman. And what was best for Roman was ultimately what was best for Seth and Dean. While Dean being an absolute asshole to Seth wasn't solving anything, it made Dean feel better, and it gave him some kind of closure. And Seth, he just wanted his boys to be as good as they could be.<p>

"Take good care of him, alright?"

"Always have."

Seth nodded, reaching out and placing a hand on Dean's face. "I love you."

"I know." Dean's voice was low, and unwavering, but his gaze drifted down to Seth's lips.

Without thinking, Seth pulled Dean in for a kiss. It was soft, and quick, but it made Seth feel more secure than he had been since the split. Dean pulled away first, running a hand through Seth's hair.

"Go to the hotel, clean yourself up, and I'll see you at the arena."

* * *

><p>"So...how's he doing?"<p>

Dean looked up from his coffee, shrugging a a shoulder. "He's good. Finally getting to move around, he might be able to start working out again soon."

Seth nodded. Dean sounded calm, but he just looked tired, and his leg was bouncing enough to hit the table every now and then. His eyes were darting around the catering room at the arena, yet Seth could still see the worry set in them. Roman's injury was taking a bigger toll on him than he was willing to admit. It was effecting Seth too, but it was by far harder on Dean.

The Ohio native finally let his gaze settle on Seth, and Seth finally saw how exhausted he looked. He'd been driving himself insane with how worried he was, and his travel schedule, and his insisting to stay up till the most ungodly hours of the night to Skype Roman. Dean just couldn't give himself a break.

"Hey, look at me," Seth said as Dean's eyes went back to flitting around the room. "Roman'll be okay."

"I know, but-"

"No buts. He's one of the toughest sons of bitches I know, and you're gonna make yourself sick by worrying over nothing."

"It's not nothing," Dean said, suddenly serious. "A sports injury is fine, I can live with that, but what he had was fucking natural. That shit could make him lose his career."

"Yeah, from what he told me, it was pretty nasty."

"God, his fucking intestines were sticking out and shit, how had I not noticed that?" Dean asked. "He'd called you when it happened, right?"

"But _I_ could barely get him to the hospital," Seth retorted, looking down the table with disdain. Roman didn't even listen to him anymore. Had Roman called Dean, there would've been an ambulance at the hotel within five minutes of their call ending.

"Why didn't he call me?"

"Probably because you weren't around. He knew you wouldn't really be able to do anything."

"He's a little shit."

"_Such_ a little shit."

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><p><em>Roman looked so good in the morning. His hair all spread out on the pillow, dark eyelashes resting on perfect tan cheeks, the pristine white bed sheet lying teasingly low on his hips while the light flooded in through the window, making him look like some kind of angel. He had gotten the entire left side of the bed to himself, more than likely because he'd left a little earlier with his cousins. Dean and Seth had pissed him off, they still didn't know what they'd done, but he hadn't spoken to them since the past night. The one good part of it was the fact that Roman hadn't taken off his dog tags.<em>

_"Is he naked under there?" Dean asked, trying to pull the sheet of of Roman. Seth smacked his wrist._

_"Let him sleep, Dean," Seth said softly. "He can sleep off his anger. Maybe we'll get some good morning sex out of it." He grumbled, rolling over and closing his eyes._

_"But what if he's naked?" Dean sounded like a child. It was kind of adorable, but Seth was tired, so it was just downright annoying._

_"Then he's naked."_

_"What if he's wearing panties?"_

_"He doesn't have any panties."_

_"He could."_

_"Where the fuck would he get panties without us knowing? We're with him all the time."_

_"The Divas seem to like him..."_

_"Shut the fuck up and go to sleep," Seth reached over the side of the bed, grabbing one of the little decorative throw pillows the hotel laid out_ _and hitting Dean in the head with it. He did _not_ need the image of Roman in a pair of lacy little panties in his mind that early. Dean made an unnecessarily loud noise, obviously milking it to get Roman awake._

_"Why are you guys awake?"_

_Mission accomplished._

_"Seth's being mean to me," Dean said, giving Roman a kiss. "You still angry?"_

_Roman did that stretching thing where he arched his back and turned his face into the pillow, and Dean felt Seth's hand brushing over his hip to reach Roman. "Not really," He said, a small smile on his face. "I still think you should apologize, though."_

_"For what?" Seth asked, running his hand up Roman's stomach. "We don't even know what we did."_

_"Okay, then I'll just get out of bed..." Roman sat up, the sheet falling low enough so that, yep, Dean's suspicions were comfirmed; naked, but not in panties._

_"Oh, fuck no," Dean denied, pushing Roman back down and positioning himself between Roman's already-spread legs._

_By the time Seth had dragged himself up and over to the two other men, Dean was naked and Roman was a fully-hard, whimpering mess as Dean ground against him. He didn't reach out for Seth, opting to keep his hands to himself until given permission, like always, but he gave him the neediest look possible (especially for someone who'd woken up barely five minutes prior), and Seth's lips were on his almost instantly. Roman's hand in his hair was the only indicator of what was happening outside of the kiss, and when Roman tugged a little harder and moaned a little louder, Seth knew something of Dean's was inside Roman. _

_And hour and a half and two rounds later, those pristine white sheets were forgotten at the foot of the bed, and Roman was sandwiched in-between Seth and Dean, even more tired than before, but more satisfied than ever. Dean tightened his grip around Roman's waist, pressing himself flush against the bigger man._

_"You have bruises on your hips already," Seth said, trailing his fingers over the marks._

_"They're Dean's," Roman said tiredly, Dean kissing his head while Seth kissed his lips. "Yours are on my thighs."_

_"But we both have teeth marks on your ass," Dean chuckled. "So, is our apology accepted?"_

_Roman nodded, taking Dean's hand in his. "Thank you."_

_"For what?"_

_"Giving me the best sex I've had in a while."_

_"I resent that," Seth interjected. "We've had better sex than that."_

_"Well, you're gonna have to step your game up, because that was fucking unreal."_

_"Challenge accepted."_

_They all shared an exhausted laugh, and were about to go back to sleep, until Dean asked the question of the century: "Roman, do you own any panties?"_

_The answer was even better. "Not yet."_

* * *

><p>Seth couldn't help but feel jittery as he paced around his locker room. Did the officials really think him and Dean would go that far? They'd pulled them aside and told them to take it easy, probably because they were very quickly losing superstars, but Seth didn't think they had such high expectations. Yeah, he and Dean had things for going overboard, but it was never intentional. They just liked putting on good shows.<p>

But putting on a good show usually meant going overboard. All or nothing, really. Seth grabbed a water bottle and headed out to the gorilla. There wasn't really any purpose of being there, he just needed to move farther than the distance of his locker room. Even then, all he did was pace. He finally found it in himself to sit down, but once he finally did, Seth was standing right back up in a second.

Dean came strolling up, which was nothing out of the ordinary, but the mere sight of the person he had in tow has Seth's heart pounding. "Roman."

"Hey, Seth," Roman smiled, and Seth found himself being pulled into a hug. He tried to not squeeze Roman, but it was awful hard when all he wanted to do was hug him for the rest of his life. "How've you been? Dean hasn't been giving you hell lately, has he?"

Seth chuckled. "He always does, but I've gotten used to it," He patted Roman's side as they pulled away, and he didn't miss how Dean's arm slipped around Roman's waist as soon as he was away from Seth.

"He's all worried about us," Dean commented, somehow managing to tear his eyes away from Roman.

"If you really had to get pulled aside to be told to calm down, then hell yeah I'm worried," Roman retorted. "Were you planning on killing each other?"

"Maybe," Seth said, earning an almost horrified look from Roman. "Just kidding, Rome. A month out of the ring's gotten to you, huh?"

"Shut up, I'm concerned. You idiots don't know how to be careful."

"Careful isn't fun, though."

"And dying is?"

"We aren't gonna die."

"Possibly," Dean laughed as Roman slapped his chest. A little backstage worker came running up, telling Seth and Dean that their match was already in two minutes. "Hey, why don't you go hang out in my locker room?"

"Whey can't I stay out here?" Roman asked.

Dean didn't say a word. He fixed that hard, scrutinizing gaze of his on Roman, and the bigger man was nodding his head and heading back towards Dean's room without another word. Dean had obviously gotten better at discipline since the split.

* * *

><p><em>"He doesn't listen to me."<em>

_"He doesn't see you as an authority figure yet," Seth said, running a hand through his hair. "It takes time."_

_"Time that I feel like I'm wasting," Dean commented. "You're amazing at this, he doesn't do shit for me unless you second it."_

_"I've been with him for almost three years, Dean. You think he was this obedient instantly?"_

_"Not exactly instantly..."_

_Seth sighed. "You'll get it eventually. For now, you can tell him to do stuff, and I'll scare him into it, alright?"_

_Dean seemed reluctant, but he nodded anyways. Seth kissed his forehead._

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><p>For the record, "live via satellite" doesn't always mean "live from backstage." The first time around, they'd flown Roman out to WWE Headquarters, mainly so they had a good place to film, but since Dean had Roman at Hell In A Cell anyways, they just set up a little space and had Roman do it there. Meaning he was at the arena. Backstage. Within Seth's vicinity.<p>

Roman only came out of Dean's locker room when Dean got backstage, so Seth never saw him after the show, but he knew for a fact that he was pissed, or scared, or both. All Seth knew was that Roman was going to rip him one hell of a new one. That's why Seth had been deliberately avoiding Roman the entire night.

Though, just because he wasn't looking for Roman didn't mean Roman wasn't looking for him.

"You stupid motherfucker," Seth tensed as he heard that familiar, deep voice, and the approaching footsteps.

"Hey, Roman," Seth said, turning around and smiling at Roman. "What's up?"

"You threw yourself off of the cage, broke a table, couldn't move or breathe, but kept fighting, is that_ taking it easy_?" Roman was pissed. Not scared.

"No," Seth said simply. "I'm sorry about it, I didn't want us to go that far, but we did it anyways-" Seth was cut off by a pair of lips colliding with his own, arms being wrapped around his neck while his arms instinctively slipped around Roman's waist.

Roman pulled away first, but not a lot. "You fucking scared me to death, you know that?" He kissed Seth again. "Damn near had a heart attack. Don't do that shit anymore!" And with that, he was hugging Seth again.

"Alright, I got it, baby boy," Seth said, still a bit shocked by the fact that Roman kissed him. Roman seemed just as surprised when Seth pulled the "baby boy" card, pulling away to look his former dom in the eye.

"Why'd you leave us?"

* * *

><p><em>"Baby, I'm sorry."<em>

_"You aren't."_

_"I am."_

_Roman didn't say anything for a while. He pushed his hair off his face and looked to the side, and then to the other side, and then up to Dean, and then to the floor. He didn't want to look at Seth. Though, Seth could still see tears shining in Roman's grey eyes._

_"What did I do?" It came out in the softest whisper Seth had ever heard._

_"Roman, you didn't do anything, babe."_

_"Then why'd you turn on us? Are you punishing me?" Roman was talking a bit louder, and he finally looked up at Seth. His face was wet._

_"No, of course not."_

_Roman looked away from Seth once more. This time, Seth saw the tears falling, and heard another one of those fucking sobs. Roman was generally a silent crier, so it hurt that much more for Seth to see his sub shedding those tears._

_"You can get the fuck out now." Dean said flatly._

_Seth nodded and stood up, but he stopped to kiss Roman's forehead. Roman jerked away from his lips like they were hurting him. Seth tried to kiss Dean, too, but he moved away before Seth could touch him._

* * *

><p>Seth sighed, his hands resting on Roman's hips. He didn't want to admit why he left, but lying to Roman would hurt more. Just the look in his eyes, all open and vulnerable, had Seth's heart aching. He'd left that. For what?<p>

"I wasn't thinking of you guys at the time," Seth admitted, looking down at his hands on Roman's hips.

"What were you thinking of?"

"The money. And the job. My future."

"Career future," Roman corrected. "Your lack-of-us future."

"The unhappier future," Seth added.

"We miss you," Roman said, stepping closer to Seth. "I miss you. But, y'know, you left."

"I know."

"I would be lying if I said I didn't want you back, but I also don't want to get hurt again."

"I wouldn't hurt you again."

"How do I know that?"

"I just told you."

"How do _you_ know it?" Roman asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "You said you'd never leave last time, and look what happened."

"True," Seth said. "Look, you don't have to take me back, but you have to know that I still love you, Rome."

Roman was silent for a few moments. His hands slid down to cover Seth's, and Seth honestly thought Roman was going to push him away, until he slid his arms around his waist. "I love you too," Roman said. "But that doesn't mean I forgive you."

"You don't have to."

Roman sighed and leaned forward, kissing Seth once more. Seth knew he was holding back as they kissed softly, but it was for the both of them. Getting carried away wasn't good for either man in that moment.

"I love you with everything I have, okay?" Seth asked. "Never, ever forget that."

Roman shook his head. "I won't."

"Good," Seth kissed Roman first this time, and neither tried to stop as they got carried away that time around.

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><p>good news for those of you who like this series: there will be a new installment whenever roman comes back! not sure when that'll be, but at least we can't trust there'll be a new part! reviews are greatly appreciated!<p> 


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